I’ve noticed that my beard grows much faster and much thicker than my other ordinary hair. I have a professional haircut by a trained gardener once a month. As a bonus, he also trims the hedges and tidies up the garden whilst he has all his tools and equipment handy. He really is adept with the hedge trimmer although you have to be perfectly still if you don’t want your ear cut off. This would cause you difficulties if you wear glasses.

Anyway, whilst I have my hair cut once a month, I’ve noticed my beard grows much faster and needs cutting more frequently. Geoffrey Fordesque-Smythe, our gardener, has left me a pair of shears, or secateurs, for me to attend to the beard.

Praise the Lord

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