You know those electronic contraptions some have at home which you talk to and they listen and respond to your requests? There are many models available. Usually with female names and voices. You say “what’s the weather like?” and they respond whether it will be hot or cold or whatever. You can also ask them to play various music. They learn to recognise your voice and respond to it. Well … some lunatic friends have gifted us one. I use the word lunatic advisedly on two counts. First, I think gifts to people should not be too personal. I mean, did they know whether we already have such a device? (We don’t). Did they know how we feel or think about such equipment, or whether we even have the intellect and University education to operate them. I still prise the bread out of the toaster with a knife despite being told not to. The automatic pop up thing does not always work. I hate electronic gadgets that decide when to work or not.
They are also lunatic on a second count. They bought this listening and talking device whilst on holiday in France. It looks like an old style telephone. Très à la mode; as they say in la belle France. Very chic. It blends with the rest of the environment and does not look too modern a contraption. Ours is an old Victorian house and I’ll admit the device looks attractive compared to the more modern looking equivalent. But why couldn’t these lunatics have bought us a more traditional holiday present? Like a leaning Eiffel Tower or other touristy thing which I could hide in the garage with a guiltless conscience. Instead, we have one of those talking things in the house in the corner of the room on and old piece of furniture. What I did not realise is that Giselle, that’s the thing’s name, speaks with a French accent. The other day I asked her to order a KFC to be delivered to our home and she said, “What eez zee K … F … C … Je ne comprends pas!”