Phone rings. Telephone-answering machine. Female voice. Your call cannot be taken at the moment. Please leave your name and number after the tone. BEEEP … Damn … it’s that stupid female machine again … hello … hello … hello Vic … this is aunt Elma here … I am phoning you from Glasgow … I am leaving my name on your female answering-machine as you told me to … it is … E … L … M … A … aunt Elma. I am ringing to thank you all for the lovely gift you sent us. It arrived a few days ago but we did not ring to thank you then for reasons which you will understand later on in this telephone call … The package came in a big box delivered by a man in a van … it was white I think … the van … He said he worked for an Internet Shopping Website … whatever that is … and that you sent us this package … Inside there was another box with a micro something oven written on it … wait … I’ll ask Jim … (Pause) Jim said it was a microwave oven. There was also a note saying it was a gift from you … There was also a big booklet with instructions to make the oven work … it was written in many languages … French … Italian … German … Dutch I think … and lots of other languages … It was a waste of time, Jim said, seeing we only speak English.

He sat down and read the book … and soon fell asleep in front of the TV …

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