Why obligers need a deep interior life…and why it’s so hard for them to take time for it.
You may have read some of my past posts about happiness author Gretchen Rubin’s theories about the four tendencies people have with regard to habit formation and meeting inner and outer expectations. As a quick review, the four types are:
Upholders (meet inner and outer expectations)
Questioners (meet inner but question outer expectations)
Obligers (meet outer but resist inner expectations)
Rebels (resist both inner and outer expectations)
I’m an obliger, so I’m writing from my personal experience. Obligers have a keen sense of others needs, and tend to focus primarily on them. It always feels more virtuous to be doing something for someone else rather than ourselves.