Many of our friends have more children than us. One
family we know has 8 children, another has 9 children, two have 10
children, two have 11 children, one has 13 children, one has 15
children, and one has 17 children. We all live in the Toronto area,
and of these 10 families we have one hundred and eleven children
between us as of today. The numbers will change again soon though
for we all want more. Believe me, it is one heck of a party when we
all get together!

The mothers of these children have all chosen to take on
motherhood as their profession and we do it in a very professional
way. We do not wish to return to work outside the home for a
paycheck so we can escape the boredom of domestic life as recent
studies have suggested, and it is quite obvious that our marital
bliss has not disappeared with children as other studies have shown.
We have been lucky enough to discover many secrets about life and
love, which many will unfortunately miss out on.

How do we do it?

First we have to be willing to develop a good prayer
life. Parents of large families cannot just be Sunday Catholics. A
deep spirituality, daily mass, weekly confession, regular spiritual
direction, and the family Rosary daily are some of the ways we get
those extra graces we need in order to be able to do it. A great
trust in God, and a devotion to the Holy Family makes it all
possible.

Then you must remember that most children do not come
more than one at a time, occasionally there are twins, but higher is
rare. With each child, you begin to develop muscles, and habits,
that helps makes you a bit more organized, a bit more patient, a bit
more able to take on one more, as long as you keep on trying. Of
course if you roll over and play dead at any point along the way and
don’t keep on top of things, this will seem worse than it really is,
but the secret is organization.

The mother needs to be continually working on her
organizational skills as the family grows. The mothers actual role
is that of “Professional Household Manager.” She has to be
willing to delegate responsibilities, even to the two year old. She
needs to carry a daytimer in her diaper bag and have a clear mission
statement for herself and all the family, so that everyone knows
their roles and goals. She must have a high standard of principles
and have clear and defined rules for the whole family and she must be
willing to live simply so that the rest of the family can follow her
example. The major tool for her job must be her good example in all
areas of life, since example is the best teacher for the children.
She must always be continuously learning new skills to improve her
work environment.

Books such as “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
Families” give good examples of how this can be done. It is a
lot simpler than it sounds and the parents are developing many
virtues in the process so it is good for our character. The effort
that the mother must put into her job is no different than any other
person puts into their job but hers can be more satisfying for she
gets to work with those she loves. With the help of the sacrament of
Reconciliation and spiritual direction she can develop the skills she
needs.

Raising a large family is not as expensive as one is led
to believe. One of my friends who raised 11 children always reminds
me that each one is born with a loaf of bread in their back pocket.
I have found this to be true. There are so many ways in our society
where we can alall learn to live simpler. We can get good clothing
at thrift shops, we can shop in bulk and take advantage of sales. It
is better for the children to share a bedroom and learn to get along
so the house need not be big. We can cut down on Christmas expenses
and cut out cable TV, all which are better for the family. We are
led to believe it is expensive to live in our society, but we have
been misled. We all need to re-examine out spending habits in the
sight of God.

Every day can be exciting with a large family, as
practically every month has a birthday or an anniversary, some sort
of reason to party. My friends with 17 children, most who are
married now, said they have so many birthday parties and feast day
parties at their home for their children and grandchildren that they
are practically always celebrating something. Recently when new
neighbours moved in across the street from them, they really wondered
about them because of all the partying.

Believe me, it is possible, even in today’s society to
take such a chance, and to really succeed in raising a large family
if one is only willing to try. The lifestyle that we are providing
for these one-hundred and eleven children is a lifestyle that will
prepare them for today’s world. They are learning how to share, how
to care, how to work, how to play, how to be responsible, how to be
patient, how to get along with others, all very important for the
working world they are going to be entering only too soon. The large
family is a school within itself.

Having many children is not the curse society has led us
to believe it is. It is a challenge, it forces us to grow up and
mature, and it teaches us to set priorities and enjoy the simple
pleasures in life.

I am also willing to bet that none of my friends who are
parents of large families will end up in nursing homes. Odds are at
least one of the children will be willing to take us in, if living
alone becomes impossible, or we can go visit each one of them for a
month or two at a time and they will hardly even notice us. Do not
let the old theory that it takes about $100,000 to raise a child in
our society scare you off. Rather think of it as having 10 children
makes one a millionaire. Sure we are not all called to raise large
families, but for those who are, do not let society scare you off.